Scary Night

Last night was the scariest night I have had as a mom. This post is really worthy of my own private journal, but as I write in my journal about once every five years, I will just have to keep it here on my family blog. Sometimes I wish this blog were private and only I could read it, but I think it is too important to keep family and friends updated. So anyway, back to my scary night. Wade was at school for his moot court competition and I was home with the kids. All the sudden at like 7:00pm Brooklyn complains her tummy hurts. At first I thought, great, she has the flu that her friend just had. Then she asked for a movie so I put one in for her and she laid down on the couch. She kept complaining her tummy hurt. I offered her a cookie(to find out if her tummy was in deed hurting), sure enough she wanted the cookie. So she couldn't have had the flu . Then she got up and couldn't walk and kept telling me how much her tummy hurt. I felt her tummy and it was as hard as a rock. Then she started getting pale. I immediately call my dad. He tells me he thinks it is constipation. I thought so maybe too, but she had a BM early that morning, so I couldn't see that being the problem. Here is where the scary feeling comes in. I had a Wilms Tumor (kidney cancer) when I was Brooklyn's age. My parents found it one day as they were dressing me and found a huge, hard lump on my tummy. That night I was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer and had my kidney removed hours after. My dad said that I just needed to watch it and be careful. I had already come to the conclusion that she had cancer in my head(I get that in my head anytime she is sick), so my worry just intensified. Then Brooklyn started complaining that her back hurt. Well that is where your kidneys are. I start crying, try to call Wade( his phone was dead...ughhhh) then call my dad back. He told me to call Wade's parents who are a nurse and Pharmacist. I quickly say a prayer. I call Jena and we go through everything she is doing, feeling, saying. She too thought it was most likely constipation. As we were on the phone Brooklyn starts falling asleep sitting up. Her eyes roll back into her head and she gets even more pale. At this point I am more than freaked out and had to try VERY hard to keep ahold of myself and not cry on the phone with Jena. Brooklyn is still hurting pretty bad and then lays down and starts shaking. Jena calms me down and tells me all the right things. I did mention to her that Brooklyn is on an Anti-biotic for her bad cold. Jena tells me that that drug does cause dizziness and drowsiness(actually is was plastered all over the bottle too). Jena told me I should wait through the night and carefully watch her. I am still convinced she has what I had at two years old. I call my dad back and he calms me down again and tells me that everything will be ok.

I then research this drug on the Internet. It says that this drug if overdosed can cause: stomach pain, dizziness, drowsiness, nausea, shivers, ect. Well I am not sure she got an overdose but I thought that maybe she just had a bad reaction. Even with that, I am still very worried and panicked.

At this point I am calmed down, Brooklyn is sleeping and I am still trying to get ahold of Wade. It is like 9:30 and I am getting frustrated at him and then he walks through the door. I was shaking, crying, and so worried all over again telling him about my awful experience. He concluded along with my dad and his mom that she was going to be fine and we should just wait through the night.

I had her sleep right next to me last night. I woke up several times and checked on her. I have no idea how to explain the absolute fear I had thinking that Brooklyn had a tumor. I was telling my sister that had I not been a 2 year old with kidney cancer, I would have just thought it was constipation or something more minor. I can't help that I have that fear every time she is sick. This stomach pain, hard tummy, back hurting, awfulness just magnified that fear.

Then we wake up this morning and all is well. She feels fine, her stomach is not hurting nor is it hard.

That was by far the hardest thing I have ever experienced. How quickly life can go from being a normal night, to pure fear and worry. I am however, so thankful for the power of prayer. I was comforted as I went to sleep and I know Heavenly Father heard my prayer. I don't even understand and cannot comprehend how my parents situation did not turn out being just a weird reaction to medication. They had to endure the fear I had put into reality. I just do not even understand how parents get through kids with cancer. I had a small, very minor glimpse and it was excruciating. Thankfully we have a Heavenly Father that works miracles, listens and answers prayers, and can comfort us.