Released

This is for my own journal so if you read this and get bored, sorry.

Wednesday night my Bishop showed up at my house and released me from my calling. I kept it together pretty well. Then when he left I burst into tears and cried for a solid hour. I knew it was coming. I am moving soon and I knew that he wanted me to be able help the new yw presidency before I moved. Even though I knew the release was soon, I am/was devastated. I cried my self to sleep, woke up crying, cried all week and felt sick about the thought of me loosing something that was so incredibly important and wonderful in my life.

I officially was released yesterday and it was terribly hard. I have served in this calling for 2.5 years, so you can imagine that my relationships with the leaders and the girls was pretty significant. The Bishop called me up and asked me to give a testimony. I pretty much bawled through the whole thing and probably rambled a bunch of nonsense. Then in YW we sat in a circle, ate a bunch of yummy food we all brought and each shared a testimony. Most of us had a lot of tears, including the girls. I know they loved us. This is the hardest thing ever.I am still quite a wreck. Just a testament to how much I have loved this calling and loved these girls/leaders. Serving in the church brings magnificent blessings.

 This is my family. I love and care for each of these girls and women. I don't know how I am going to move on without them. I have cried so many times, I think I am cried out. Being the YW president has been my life here in Lubbock. I don't remember life when I wasn't serving and loving these girls. To say I am devastated is a total understatement. My heart seriously has been aching. I am just glad I am moving out of the ward soon so I don't have to see them with their new leaders and not be with them.

Me and the other YW leaders. These are my closet friends and I deeply love them. Not working with them every day also makes my heart hurt...bad. I have loved YW's and am so grateful that Heavenly Father saw something in me and trusted me with this huge calling and huge responsibility. The growth I have had in the last 2.5 years is unbelievable. People keep asking me if I feel relieved at all? I tell them...NO. This calling wasn't a burden, it was a beautiful blessing. Sure it was the hardest calling, the most stressful, sometimes I wanted to not be so invested in each girl, but I never felt for a second that it was a burden. When I was released on Sunday, and as I sat there and bawled like a baby, Brooklyn asked me..."now what are you going to do at church now mom?" I answered, "I have... no idea." It's sad. I know Heavenly Father needs my strengths again, and I am ready to get serving again! -wherever that is, but hopefully in YW again :)